Preach, Sally, preach.
This line was especially relevant to me last night. I was slightly losing my mind in the midst of a heat wave in a house with NO AIR CONDITIONING, and I thought watching Cloud Atlas would be a great idea.
Listen to me, and think of young Sally Draper up there when I tell you–watching a film that deals with theories of reincarnation and eternal love when you are emotional and overheated is NEVER a good idea.
When I was little, I would be tortured with bouts of insomnia or wrenched out of sleep by the thought of non-existence. As little as my tiny brain could process death, it was still a terrifying experience. I’m not even going to touch on religious beliefs here, but even the thought of an “afterlife” wasn’t comforting.
Watching Cloud Atlas brought these memories back, and Sally hit the nail on the head (as always). It wasn’t the thought of dying, it was (and if I was being honest, is) the thought of forever–the world going on without me, and having no idea if I would be getting the better or worse deal.
It’s difficult to think of time passing in a world where I no longer exist, just like it’s impossible to picture a world before I came into existence. Especially when time is just having a grand old time speeding by–seriously, wasn’t I just eight years old?
I can see why people feel comforted by their faith–there is nothing to fear when you’re convinced the grass is greener on the eternal other side. But I’m afraid to leave it all behind when I don’t know what is ahead.
It’s been awhile since I panicked at the thought of forever, and now I know why. Sally had it right way before I did–don’t think about things that upset you. Change the subject (or thought process, or movie channel) and move on. Don’t dwell on forever; live in the now and leave behind some awesome memories.
Just like Sally. When Mad Men is finished and she is no longer lighting up our screens, she won’t be forgotten. Probably because this blog will still be up as an electronic shrine to her wisdom.
From Sally (forever) with love.