We all have that friend.
Let’s be honest–that friend was probably us, at some point (or still).
Sally’s clear disgust here is all of us, when we’re at that delicate age of being pure judgemental assholes. I can say that, because I was both the girl she derides and Sally herself, all within the span of the few years we girls know as middle school purgatory.
Listen, growing up girly is not easy. I do not recommend it. However, we and any future spawn we choose to create do not have a choice, so I will offer Sally’s underlying advice to those coming-of-age that happened to land on the wrong side of the wheel of fate:
Don’t grow up too fast.
Yes, in that desperate moment you are probably so mad to be the last girl on your block without your first fill-in-the-blank–kiss, boyfriend, car, et cetera. But as the ugly green monster rears its envious head while your friends proudly show off their newly acquired Tampax, just know your day in the sun is coming. Followed promptly by 40+ years of agony and hatred toward the universal symbol of womanhood that now threatens to make your life an actual hell once a month.
So yeah, don’t rush it.